Clothing: A walking memory, a strike of lightning, a flash of intuition, and a surge of clarity

What you wear and how it is worn speak to who you are and what you are all about without ever having said a word. This silent and instantaneous communication is perhaps more valuable than we realize. Upon a more careful inspection, we can gather intel into one’s life, their culture, religion, wealth, self-care, what they value, and self-confidence. The essence of what they are or the percentage of things and experiences that make them-them. By just a simple glance, I can make up their life history with the info I’ve been given ( whether I’m right or not is a different story). This is why people watching is so fascinating, and why the fashion industry is a multibillion-dollar industry.

With the rise of fast-fashion and prices of clothing reaching an all-time low, clothing is purchased, worn once or twice(if it holds up in the wash), and thrown out. While these clothes are on trend, they say nothing of who we are and are cause for little inspiration. They are easily lost among the sea of here-today-and-gone-tomorrow fashion. For my generation, fast fashion has become the norm and quality a thing of the past. Yet when clothing can say so much about you, is fast-fashion what we want to convey? I worry that the generations that precede me will miss this.

I worry that if fast fashions continue to rise we will completely forget to appreciate quality and craftsmanship in clothing. When we value cheap over the importance of safety for those making the items, we are doing a great disservice to ourselves and everyone else. How can you completely enjoy something that has caused others suffering? You cannot!

Which leads me to say that fashion is so much more than just pieces of clothing. It is about how silk feels on your bare skin, or how a specific fabric makes you want to dance. It is when a dress has pockets, and the color yellow makes your heart sing. It makes you feel amazing and that you can conquer the world. Fashion allows us to feel the fabulous fabrics, and smell the coat that reminds us of our loved ones, to see our favorite colors dance about on fabric, and to know, at the end of the day, life was just a little bit more enjoyable. It allows us to honor our ancestors by wearing pieces that reflect who they were and the struggles that they went through. Fashion has the ability to take us back to a specific memory much like a smell would. We are transported back in time to our favorite moments and experiences — our own little secret!

Have you ever worn an excellent quality article of clothing? How did it make you feel? If you’re like me, you probably didn’t want to take it off. It feels amazing and you value it because it brings joy and is beautiful. What if it was owned by your grandmother or grandfather and passed on to you? You would think of them every time you put it on. You would treasure it, and a piece like that would never be casually thrown on your bedroom floor. If someone asked where you got it, what a wonderful story you would have compared to the standard “I got it at H&M” answer.

Now, maybe you’re like me and your family never passed you special clothing items.                                                      What’s a girl (or boy) to do?

Raid your closet. What are the pieces you are drawn to ( colors, textures, prints, styles, etc)? Get to know what you like and dislike. I would highly encourage going through your closet and giving away anything you haven’t worn in six months, things that don’t fit, items that were purchased but you hate, and make way for things that you are going to love wearing! Often times our closets hold treasures that are hidden by the pieces we hate. With the extra room in your closet, you’ll have an easier time finding outfits to wear and things that inspire you. In the future, think quality over quantity. Maybe you’ll score a well made and beautiful dress(may it have pockets!) at a vintage or second-hand shop. You have a story and a dress that will last. A piece with a past to be handed down to a beloved daughter, niece, or granddaughter. Think of the rich history that dress will have!

Not only will you be saving money, but you’ll also be helping humanity by choosing not to purchase from brands that knowingly gain off the backs those who are suffering. (think sweatshops, low working wages, child labor, etc)  You will have clothing that brings you, and those who see it, joy.  The things you wear will be inspired by your past, your favorite places, the things you love most in your life, and, who knows, maybe even by your favorite foods! What an excellent conversational starter that would be!

Explore! Branch out and check your local second-hand and vintage stores. Learn about fabrics and color. Learn to sew and create one-of-a-kind pieces to pass on to future generations. Create the story you wish to tell, and let fashion be a walking memory, a strike of lightning, a flash of intuition, and a surge of clarity for yourself and everyone around you.

May you always have a good story to tell!

Debt free at twenty-two

Yes, you heard correctly, I am debt-free at twenty-two. I do not own a credit card or have a car payment. I completely paid off, while in school, my college tuition, and earlier this year, I paid my car off! At this time, I currently do not have a mortgage, and when I am ready to purchase a house I will do so with cash. Call me crazy but debt, contrary to popular belief, isn’t worth it! I do not need a new phone bad enough to purchase one on credit. I will save up and when I have enough will get it.

While I am saving for the things I want, I have plenty of times to decide if I actually want to spend my money on that specific item, do I really need it? Often, by the time I save the amount of money I need, I find I didn’t really want it after all. I am able to weigh the pros and cons possibly find a cheaper alternative on Facebook Marketplace, eBay, or Amazon. Recently, I have been dying to get my hands on a KitchenAid Mixer but decided that until I saved up the money I couldn’t get it. I waited and waited, all the while looking to see if I could find a cheaper alternative. Five Months later, I found a second-hand mixer that had been used once or twice for $100. Guess what! I had the money saved and paid in Cash. I appreciate my mixer so much more than if I would have just gone to Target to purchase one. I saved $178.00 just by being patient, and I am so thankful I did. Now, I didn’t need an electric mixer, yes, it’s harder to mix by hand but not impossible; I was willing to be “uncomfortable” in the present so future Kellie’s life would be just a little bit easier. Not only was I being smart with my money, I got the thing I wanted and even saved money.

Delayed satisfaction is a skill I am still working on, the more I practice it, the easier it becomes. It started with the desire to become debt-free and has trickled into other aspects of my life. I feel so different than everyone else. I watch people purchasing brand new cars and it makes me cringe. I cannot imagine buying a brand new car when a slightly older car will do. People get so caught up keeping up with the Jones’ they don’t take into account the long-term effects of their actions. It’s an incredibly slippery slope and before they know it, they are over their heads in debt. I have personally watched people being destroyed by debt. It is such a heavy weight to carry on one’s shoulders.

Imagine with me the day the money you earn ( after taxes of course) is yours to keep. No payments of any kind. You are free to spend your money as you see fit. That was my dream and guess what I did it! It is such a freeing feeling to know that you don’t owe anyone anything! My hope is that you too might experience the freedom from debt and the joy it brings! If I did it, so can you!

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is a slave to the lender” 

 

Mountaintop Versus Valley

 

I have not always been on the mountaintop, more often than not the valley is where I spend much of my time. I get really upset when I feel I should already have moved on from the valley, almost a one step forward two back kind of thing. I have such high expectations for myself that sometimes I forget I am human and will make mistakes. In my imperfection, I will stumble and fall. Being human allows me to connect with others and be relatable. My biggest “flaw” I will turn into my biggest strength. In the same breath, I have a hard time connecting with those who pretend their life is totally together. Everyone can see it a million miles away. If they can’t be honest with themselves, then they won’t be honest with me.

Having tried to take the task of being perfect on, has left me exhausted! Behind my mask of perfection, I forgot what it means to be real. I could only see the world from the perspective of perfection. Nice and pleasing at first, Perfection morphs into a cruel master, long hours and no pay, with weekly bonuses of pain and misery. In our ignorance, we blindly accept the terms given without bothering to read the fine print. Having lived this way for all of my life I was not aware there was another way. The truth had been right before my eyes but I was blind to it.

I am here to tell you there is a better way, one that offers rest and peace. Escape the Valley of Perfection and the town of Superiority to Mt. Authenticity via Excellence Way. The Valley of Perfection is a place that leads only to the dead-end town of Superiority. Superiority has the biggest, most hypnotic light show and entertainment I have ever seen but before you know it you’ve been there for ten years. Perfection steals your most valuable resource: time and unapologetically does so. It is crowded in Superiority but the view is so much better on Mt. Authenticity. Join me where the air is clear and refreshing. I know the Valley of Perfection has taken you time, money and energy leaving you empty desperate for happiness. Leave the Valley of Perfect and don’t even put your two weeks in, they have already had enough of your time!

It may be scary to leave the Valley of Perfection after all this had been your hometown for many years but no more. Those people are not your family, only toxic actors hellbent on seeing you become like them. Their smooth talk will only get them so far and the truth will cut through their lie like soap on grease. They have given up on their truth and are furious you have not. The pursuit of perfection leads to the depths of Shame but the path of excellence leads to Mt. Authenticity. Excellence Way is hard and often times empty when you do see people they are slumbering unaware that they are wilting. Blaze Excellence path and own it, your highest-self requires it.

Mt. Authenticity doesn’t seem as impossible from the top only from the perspective of the valley. Unless you change your perspective, you will never take action; and unless you go through the valley you will stay complacent, content to wither away. Pain or the threat of pain acts as a catalyst requires fight or flight action. At some point, we will have to make the choice to kill or be killed. Your inaction will so be your downfall. Life will continue to send us through the valley until we are strong enough to travel through! I don’t know about you, but I have not been guaranteed another day or even another hour in this life. I refuse to waste another minute in the Valley of Perfection. Free entry, rest, and fabulous entertainment are advertised but what they don’t tell you is you must give your time. What an expensive trade-off for a cheap thrill and prize.

Radical Love set the intention of love as truth and spoke it over you long before you ever believed it. She cared for you and walked beside you on the darkest of nights. She saw you partying your life away in the Valley of Perfection and spoke of a freedom. She leads the way, calls you to be more, and pushes you to be amazing beyond your wildest dreams. She empowers you and with full confidence sends you on your way. She is not vindictive nor does she withhold her guidance. She does not have an unrealistic set of rule and cruel punishments. She is forgiving and all-inclusive. She, however, is intolerant of ignorance and hate seeing that injustice is taken care of.

She has changed my life! I am able to blaze my trail with passion and confidence. She replaced shame and apathy with grateful boldness. I refuse to apologize for my truth and boldly speak with confidence. Part of my journey out and up Mt. Authenticity was not living in fear anymore. I was scared of not writing perfectly (if that’s a thing). I lived in fear of telling others and being made fun of. I didn’t think I could write or even had enough to say. I just couldn’t believe my opinions and beliefs were enough to warrant a book. Yet as I have followed Excellence Way, I find myself following my true passion: people and helping women and girls. I put it off “knowing” that it just couldn’t be my calling, but no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, the noisier the call became until it was defining. I couldn’t eat or sleep almost like a gravitational pull. Happiness seemed just out of my grasp, that is until I said yes to my call. You see, unless I speak my authentic truth I do everyone a disservice. Living small is a waste of my potential and honestly a slap in the face. I choose to say to Radical Love and own my truth.

How about you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to Radical Love

My name is Kellie Scobee and at twenty-two, this is the story of how Radical Love found me. I was the girl who lived in fear terrified of not being good enough, or people seeing the real me. I was scared to speak up for myself and let others walk all over me. I continually chose to live small because who was I to live my dream life? I told myself I was nothing and my actions and behaviors back it up. I was mean to myself with complete disregard for my own feelings. I found myself in a cycle of anger and hate trapped with my world spinning so far out of control. I wanted to die and but was too chicken to actually do it. I wanted to start over but every time I tried nothing changed. I would return to my old ways furious for giving up so easily. I wanted to run away from all my problems but, as life would have it, I couldn’t. I felt like this big phony fake that was more dead than alive. So, I decided as most of us do to ignore the problem and maybe, just maybe it would go away and I would feel normal again. I was wrong and it came back with such a vengeance choking the life out of me. I was sure this would be the end of me. I didn’t care if I was alive or dead as long as the pain would stop. I was so mad that no one else was dealing with the things that I had to deal with. It didn’t seem fair that everyone’s life was perfect and here I was on the floor at 2 AM sobbing my heart out.

I was truly sick at that time but didn’t realize the extent of the damage I was inflicting on myself. My physical body had manifested the emotional sickness I had pushed down for so long. On the outside, I looked pretty normal, I was going to school full time and waiting tables part-time but on the inside, I was a complete disaster. I was not grounded and as a result, I was floating aimlessly in the sea battered by every storm I encountered. Trust me when I tell you I was talking on water, not just a trickle, but an ocean of water. I was trying to bail but one bucket has no effect against an avalanche of water. As my boat began to sink, on the floor that night, I was prepared to die. I had reached my breaking point and hit absolute rock bottom.

The thing about being at rock bottom is it forces you to look up, you have no other choice and for the first time in two years, I did! It was then I saw a rescue boat, far away but it was there! “I could’ve used that a long time ago,” I thought but there was nothing I could do but fight the current until the boat arrived. They must have seen my S.O.S. call and responded. What I didn’t know, at the time, was that that lifeboat would save my life many times over! Oh, that beautiful ship came floating on the waves like an angel from above. That is where Radical Love found me so far from shore lost and half dead. Compassion and Love picked me up and nursed me back to health; if you ever met them, you know just how kind they are!  Mercy and Grace spared no expense on me, they honored me and treated me like a queen, no one had ever done that for me before. Joy and laughter stayed with me through the night and peace took the morning watch. I have journeyed with them for two years and it has been life-changing. Radical Love is big enough for everyone! It is all-inclusive and free for everyone with no strings attached! If they would stop to save someone like me then they will stop for you as well. Joy and Peace have been my closest companions, Happiness and Love are never far away

I want to share what I have learned and Truth has shown me so much along the way. I know I am not the only one who has hit rock bottom and is desperately looking for a way out. I am not a guru nor do I have some super secret power, I do not claim to have all the answers.  In fact, I am still on the journey but what I can tell you is: I have seen the benefits and if I would’ve known about this years ago it would’ve saved so much heartache and pain! I know that I cannot go back and change my past but I can help others so their past will not look like mine. I have been forever changed and this is just the beginning! Incredible hope and happiness are found within Radical Love. Come! Join us for you are welcome, wanted with room for everyone!